she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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