she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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