My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
