Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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