Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
