I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just want to make out with him forever
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
