singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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