haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just want to make out with him forever
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
