so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
