If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
