Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
