like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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