I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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