Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
