I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I wish i was in the wii world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My penis needs a shock collar
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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