dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
