I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
