Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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