The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
