he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
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Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That accounts for only three of the penises
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I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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