You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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