Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There r osticjed everywhere
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
