Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
