Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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