So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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