the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i think i have two assholes
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
