She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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