the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
