anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
