You're completely useless in the revolution.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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