at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
