I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize