school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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