So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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