I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
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he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
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I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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