How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
