No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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