The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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