Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
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