well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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