The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize