just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
