I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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