She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
