you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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