her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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