Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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