i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
