Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
