it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
