Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
