I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
