Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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