My room smells like vodka and shame
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
