the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
