I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
