There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
