I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize