I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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