her vagine was all disorganized.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
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she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
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I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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